Its been a while.... Hi........So recently I have stupidly fallen into this kind of void, a black hole, some terrible place it seems.... I can't eat, I struggle day after day to hold my food down, if I manage to "eat" I manage a soup.... even if that is eating. My stomach hurts from the pain constant, I feel weak and like death.
So I will keep this short and sweet really as I don't want to drop into this weep about crap on the internet shit like some whiney emo bitch.... yeah anyway, when you go into the doctors and explain everything thats going on, and he starts running tests (yeah I kinda had them all, its not fun) I am not exactly brilliant with needles, or yet alone a nice lubricated finger, but when he mentions the 'C' word you world drops. Its not like I have been diagnosed at all, I am only being tested. But all kinds of fucked up shit is going through my mind.... all the what if's and all the family things and basically everything.
So what are we looking at? Probably the same shit (pun intended) that my Dad has. Its a form of cancer (don't know all the details, don't really want to know) that is in the stomach. Inserting nice things up the rectum every night, being a guinea pig from what is happening to him. But really... is this what I am destined for? 25 years on earth, being shitted on constantly and rewarded with this....
I dunno what to think anymore..... part of this shit is down to that fucking bitch. I fucking hate her so fucking much. I hope she gets whats deserved for her. Making me ill of worry, doing drugs behind my back, cutting her wrists so I am sick with worry. I have problems too. Glad your now out of my life and I have cut the ties with you but serious GO FUCK YOURSELF!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment